5 Soothing Security Products We Wish Existed

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These are trying times. Dark Reading recently collected some of the free services being offered to help the security staff keep up with all the new and unrelenting cyber dangers. But for those who feel they need to seek inward to fight the current cyber darkness, we seek alternatives to mainstream IT security. So here we proffer five product ideas to the true mavericks of the start-up community.

There are those who will scoff at the efficacy of some of the security solutions offered here, but that's likely because they just don't understand the importance of exploring the full spectrum of defenses on offer. But as any good social engineer, honeypot administrator or threat deception vendor will tell you, smoke and mirrors have their place in security too.

(Image: Nikki Zalewski VIA Adobe Stock)

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ASMR Threat Alerts

Security alert fatigue is a very real issue for many security teams. Delivering threat intelligence and analysis through the gentle, reassuring sounds of ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) -- rather than the flashing symbols and loud alert tones normally associated with potential attacks and breaches -- can help human analysts remain vigilant, calm, and effective through the worst malicious campaigns.

The ASMR threat analysis system uses advanced artificial intelligence to inspect all network traffic, then alerts analysts to threats using rhythmic tapping, soft scratching, and whispered warnings to lower blood pressure while raising alert levels.

(Image: Andrey Popov VIA Adobe Stock)

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Rose Quartz 'Next Plane of Existence' Firewall

Malware and malicious content have a different energy than the legitimate traffic that flows through a network. Those different energy levels can be used to keep malicious content on the outside while clean, authentic packets continue to flow through a network infrastructure. The tool that separates the two is the Rose Quartz "Next-Plane" Firewall, based on a large, flawless rose quartz crystal at the center of the appliance.

Rose quartz has been used throughout history as a cleansing crystal. Just as it does for bad emotions and thoughts, rose quartz can be used to filter bad, lower-energy malicious traffic from a network. This appliance does that with a series of appliances that put the rose quartz crystals nearest the individuals and application hosts that need to be protected.

Where some network security appliances tout their ability to scale up to meet the needs of growing networks, the rose quartz firewall recognizes that there are optimum crystal sizes for serious network protection. Rather than endanger the network with protection that degrades because of a too-large crystal, these optimally sized crystals are left in individual appliances that can be stacked or grouped as needed, joined by 40-gigabit links in the patented "Dreamcatcher" topology.

(Image: Hypnotik Photography VIA Adobe Stock)

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Virtual Talking Stick (VTS) DDoS Protection

A DDoS is a chaotic influence, shattering the calm of an otherwise orderly network. Now, DDoS attacks can be gently, but firmly, stopped through the use of VTS (Virtual Talking Stick) technology.

The Virtual Talking Stick technology means that only one network client can talk at one time: All other clients must sit and listen respectfully, ensuring that no malicious interruption occurs. Similar to the effect of earlier token-ring networking, VTS gives the entire network bandwidth to a single talker, but requires that each of those talkers very politely hand the stick to the next talker in the network's "circle."

Because the VTS can be explicitly managed through policies established by the VTS controller -- called the "network moderator" -- any network participant can be denied the VTS if they behave in a rude, aggressive, or disrespectful manner. The result is a network that is not only protected from DDoS attacks but a calmer, more supportive environment for all participants.

(Image: sonyachny VIA Adobe Stock)

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PSaaS (Packet Steaming as a Service)

Steam has long been known as a safe cleaning option for everything from hard surfaces to sinus passages and beyond. Which of us hasn't enjoyed the fresh, clean feeling that comes from a steaming facial? This service recognizes that, at some level, Cat6E UTP and multi-mode fiber have surfaces, too, and they can be rendered clean and malware-free with natural steam.

This service takes your network traffic and routes it over cables suspended over a steaming, herb-infused bath, to gently cleanse your packets of all malicious content. As the steam opens the spaces between packets, any malformations or mis-configured data can easily fall out, leaving nothing but dewy-fresh information behind. No harsh deep-packet inspection here, just the gentle, fragrant cleaning power of steam.

Worried about malware, phishing attacks, or simple data exfiltration? None of the bad, malicious packets will remain after a passage through this steam-filled environment. Your data will be left refreshed, cleansed, and ready to face the world with new confidence after its encounter with PSaaS.

(Image: diter VIA Adobe Stock)

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TSaaS (Traffic Smudging as a Service)

Cleansing network traffic of all malicious content and intent can feel like a daunting task, but TSaaS (Traffic Smudging as a Service) can be a cloud-based answer that brings clarity and data cleansing to every corner of an organization's application delivery infrastructure.

With a single API call, all enterprise traffic is routed through an appliance filled with smoke from ANSI-standard sage bundles to pull all bad material from within and around the packets. The bad packet contents can be defined both by malware signatures delivered through the TSaaS provider and customer policies allowing for a highly individualized smudge that clears the network of very targeted content.

(Image: Serena Williamson VIA Adobe Stock)